What is wrong with being different?

I was just informed that my opinion on the Sam kiss "could" prevent me from being gainfully employed. Why? This is against the law right? My own opinions and what happens off hours out of the public eye should not be scrutinized, I know plenty of therapists and counselors who are very accepting of others and sexual preferences. Why should I be different? Well people, this does not just happen to me apparently. How unfortunate that a potential boss will look me up on the internet, see my mangy blog and the "controversial" comments and opinions and say to me (no matter how qualified I am) "I'm sorry Ms. Reynolds, but I do not see that we are a good fit." However, the potential employer is unaware that I have the LEGAL right to ask as to WHY I am not a good fit.

They could say I am a rabble rouser or my ideologies don't coincide with theirs. I could agree with the former but not the latter because as a society, we need to progress from where we are today. I am tired of living in a culture that shuns people who are different from them. I am different. I dont want to be like everyone else, there is a point where I must conform but why do I have to conform to a body type, personality type, a particular look.... I am even an outsider among friends.

Believe me,it is the most painful thing to be isolated, I love people, I want to be around people, work for them, play among them. I act like a little kid, awkward and unsure of what to do because I have been isolated most of my life. I dont give up, but I get scared of the word NO, rejection is conditioned in me because of the isolation, and I don't ask people for things except to be included... that is my weirdness. That is the true thing that makes me different- awkward, socially inexperienced, at the age of 41.

All I ask is to accept those who are different, if not me then someone else. Bye for now, Blessed be.

Dear Doctor, I wish I could have an atom of your courage... 

The Sam Kiss

I have this blog set up just incase I might swear or talk about sex. Why you ask? Well thats life- sex, swearing, and bodily functions are normal parts of life. Even some of my opinions could offend people like my full exceptance of homosexuality. I love the Sam kiss seen around the world not because they are gay, because they love each other.  They were happy and showed their affection for one another. I'm fucken pissed that this tallented American football player was drafted almost last. Why? Well, I think it's because of the "weird kid onthe playground" because they are different or awkward, they get chosen last and the team isn't proud of the pick. I hope that Sam plays, in fact I may actually watch football this year just to see if he plays and not sit on the bench.

Well, now Im done with that little bit. Later, blessed be.

Violence against women—it's a men's issue: Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen

Today is... Ooo! Shiny!

This is me today. I have this horrible dysfunction called procrastination.  Daily I struggle aginst it, yet I start talking (yes, talk to the people who post silly things or arguments) to my tablet and then the coffee maker stops. I must get coffee. I get coffee, I see that something else needs my immediate attention.... the book left on the couch. Read me, the book screams. Then I have this dialog going on telling me of all the wonderful plans I have and I must get to it, PRONTO! Yeah, well, that can wait a moment,  I need to find out if the charicter becomes a Kitsune agin... says the creative side of my brain.

I care to get things done but I still put things off because I find something else to do. This is not condusive to my future. This is not condusive to anything! Google+ is my bane right now because I am (like SO many other people) "crazy waiting" for Doctor Who to start in Aug... but seriously, the US won't see it until Sept. I need a different hobby...

Bye for now, Blessed Be

I guess I am at this once again

I am sitting here in my room, listening to Scottish Rock bands from the 80-90's, wondering what my next move in life is... I should have a plan right? Of course I do, it is all laid out right now! But seriously, I don't and this is why. I do not have a car. I do not have a license. I cannot get any where for employment in my area without a vehicle and insurance. I currently have a BA in Forensic Psychology too, graduated with Cum Laude and I have an invitation to join PsyChi. AWESOME right! YES it is!

Yet I still sit here sad. Feeling unaccomplished for my self and the kiddos. I feel like that I am "self sabotaging" because I do not have the means to get what I need to. I really don't want to fall down a deep spiral of regret or guilt.That would go against my Stoic ways. I am in no way going to give in to despair but what the hell or how the hell am i going to get the $$ for drivers ed? Have no clue. I don't need someone to drive me around to keep me under their thumb or know where and what I am doing... had that thrice over do not need that to happen ever again.

I hate talking about myself. I hate reading that I have real issues and that people would judge me. Yes, I am fully aware that there are settings on this "free" blogging thing. But I do not have the patience to fix them right now. I usually keep things to myself because I never believed that people would care about what I say. That was my life, everyday... no one cared what I thought, felt, dreamed, or whether I even existed beyond making dinner or sex.

I do not include my children in this, I include the choices that I made believing that the next one would be better than the last. So stereotypical! Classic even! Starts off awesome, then months to years down the relationship river, when you least expect it, you are getting belittled for everything you do. Here is where I stop because this is the private thing, you can use your imagination as to what happened at least in one relationship. I need to remind you all who might read this... or not... Just because a survivor of abuse has "bad" relationships, this does not mean it is their fault for what happened, in fact the opposite is true in most cases.

Hey, here is a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: GUYS, GALS, the LBGTQ you GIVEN IN to VICTIM BLAMING when you say to a PERSON, "look at all the bad relationships you had, I don't think it would work between us".... It is not the PERSON'S fault. Yes, they made choices but they didn't know the choices were "bad" until it was too late, after they are being victimized. It does not matter if the abuse is violent, emotional abuse is worse, and most cannot heal from it. So just letting you "guys" know, telling the PERSON you are interested in that it "won't work" because of the "bad relationships"... that is re-victimizing the survivor of abuse. I care about you people, I just want you to know that those survivors need to build trust again and need a little more TLC than the average person.

Well that is it for now I guess... night folks, Blessed Be.